CHORUS
Well I left a little something on the nightstand babe (X4)

No disrespect to Mr. Gump but life is not a box of chocolates
my life's more like a box of dirty socks and rotten crotches
my neighbor shot himself because his son came out the closet
and i work around the clock only to make my boss a profit

so the teller at the bank is laughin at my small deposits
collectors clawin at my balls and cock like i got jock itch
and i thought i had my walllet in my cotton jacket pocket
til i checked it and discovered it was not i must've dropped it

and Tony's facing 8 his case is next up on the docket
but i couldn't pay for parking so i'm late and then to top it off
i step into mi casa stressin out i need to smoke
but first i need to find my wallet cause indeed a nigga broke

so i checked my pants and jackets and places where i had it
what the fuck? I found an empty condom wrapper by the mattress

hear the motha fuckin static comes. wait til she arrives
she can keep that that blahzay blahzay baby aint no need to lie
i ought to smack a bitch directly in the face and see her cry
split her cabbage leaving maggots like some shit from CSI

i aint no hoe what u expect for me to bake the bitch a pie
i ought to slap her have her in a pair of shades inside at night
ought to have her in a scarf around her neck in late July
ought to set this place on fire ought to make her fetch a light
meanwhile Rob is on the phone and homey gave me this advice
said don't ever let emotion make u take this bitch's life
man don't swing at bitches eyes. all that violent shit forget it
man u know what 90 days in jail would do to a niggas credit.

its pathetic how i'm pacin round & mumblin shit and thinking things
like how she usually get here by two-thirty man its three-fifteen
and as recently as yester-week she sent her ex a text
what he eff is that, she extra freaky seeking extra sex?
but i guess i could've expected all this shit in retrospect
cause she play both sides of the fence instead of strickly hetro sex

now just to recap i went home to get cash
and found out my main squeeze had the coochie up for grabs
and at first i thought i ought to place a foot into her ass
but to hell with all of that i packed a bag and made a dash


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believe me baby i aint trying to be no felon.
do i love my freedom? hell yeah
so the worst i could do to you is to remove my s-e-l-f
imma miss those pretty lips and playing with those sexy melons
jessie said i ought to take some naked pics of you and sell em

even Ellen and your Jealous friends agree i treat u fine
and you gettin the meanest dick this side of the Mason-Dixon line
in the time it'll take you just to find you a guy with a game as slick as mine
who handles thangs as quick as I and fan yo flames to keep you high

you will have aged in a face and gained in the waste
yo days are slipping by
fucking crows feet and reading glasses adjacent to your eyes
juggling 70 medications every day at different times
having to watch yo happy neighbors move away live their lives

seein people half your age get engaged & kiss their brides
you in the chapel after the ceremony cleanin sweeping rice
reading the book of revelations waitin impatiently to fly
wearin soiled undergarments pardon me that TMI

always yappin about how cute you used to be at twenty-five
one of them lonely horny ladies flirtin with the cable guy
and you're nameless wanderin aimlessly in shame until u die
father McKenzie wipin the dirt from his hands at the grave and says good-bye

CHORUS

fuck you bitch I'm through
Bitch I'm in the wind
tell you what you need to do
check the bedside table baby on the Kangaroo
bedside table baby on the kangaroo

CHORUS